For you..

There were times that I felt like life is so rude that it never gave the chance to change what I have done. There were things that buggles my mind like "does she misses me too the way I miss her so much?" There are hundreds of questions but none of this has the answer. All that would make me ruins me. It ruins me because everytime I stay up late and alone, I presume things like that for sure would never be important with you.

 Telling me that you'll get over me was the hardest words to hear. I've been expecting too much from you. Too much that I could not take. Haven't you that for the long years that you've been gone I was a trash in the garbage pit. No use. Self-destructed. I keep telling myself that someday I will be seeing that face again and even that day would take me years and years to happen, I will not be weary and I will wait. Maybe not faithfully but patiently. And now that we have finally met, hearing those words from you drags me to death. It hurts like hell and it fierce through my heart. I am a coward. A very disappointing woman. I am of no good at all. Everything in my life falls out of pieces. And when I heard those words of letting go, there's nothing I could ever wished but to close my eyes and think of those days when we think nothing but fun and happiness seven years ago. When we were both inlove in a special way. That was comforting. The most comforting feeling I could ever embrace.

 When I put my hands together, I always had that thought that maybe I was right. Time will come that you will hate me for who I am and get shame on WHAT I'VE DONE. But despite the fact that I was the craziest woman that night hoping that somebody would take care of me, was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I have again entrusted myself to someone who have left me seven years ago. Someone who came back to tell me that it was over. I never thought it would be ending that way. It hurts like hell.

 I maybe the stupidist girl and the busted woman in the whole world, but i am proud with one thing. I never wore a mask for people to love me. I never did wear a mask for you to like me. Who i was seven years ago was same woman i would ever been and that woman whom you left has been silently waiting for your sweet return.

 Now it ends here.

 I just wish its seven years ago...

 Once more.


 :'(